Al Man'n

Assalam Aleikum wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuhu

I want to cover today a very fatal mistake most of us fall into. We commit it because we do not know the gravity of it and what will it cost us!!!
I know that you and I always try to strive to help others and do good so that we can get the reward for those deeds but some of us lose all the reward by doing a very simple action.. Sometimes we do this action without thinking……what is it?
It is what we call in Arabic Al Man’n
Al Man’n means, giving something to the person then saying: I gave you, or telling someone I did this and that for you and look at how you are paying me?!! Phrases like this which many of us use especially when someone hurts you after you being good to them.
Allah says:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا تُبْطِلُوا صَدَقَاتِكُمْ بِالْمَنِّ وَالْأَذَى كَالَّذِي يُنْفِقُ مَالَهُ رِئَاءَ النَّاسِ وَلا يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَمَثَلُهُ كَمَثَلِ صَفْوَانٍ عَلَيْهِ تُرَابٌ فَأَصَابَهُ وَابِلٌ فَتَرَكَهُ صَلْداً لا يَقْدِرُونَ عَلَى شَيْءٍ مِمَّا كَسَبُوا وَاللَّهُ لا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الْكَافِرِينَ) (البقرة:264)
Translation:
O you who have believed, do not invalidate your charities with reminders or injury as does one who spends his wealth [only] to be seen by the people and does not believe in Allah and the Last Day. His example is like that of a [large] smooth stone upon which is dust and is hit by a downpour that leaves it bare. They are unable [to keep] anything of what they have earned. And Allah does not guide the disbelieving people. 2:264
The minute you utter that word my dear sister and brother, you have lost all the deeds you did for that person no matter how big or many they are. This is very common with us, especially with our families and friends. When we do good to someone, we say: I did this and that and I gave them and look at how they are treating me ??!!
Why my dear sister and brother? Why waste all your efforts and your deeds? Look back into your life and see how many deeds you have wasted by committing Man’n?
Let me ask you; Who are you giving?
You need to understand that when you give, you are giving Allah from the provisions of Allah!!!
When you give something, you are not giving it to the person, but your sadaqa or your charity falls on the hands of Allah first before it falls on the hands of the needy so have manners with Allah and look at how you are giving!! When you did what you did, did you do it for the sake of Allah or because you expected a pay back in return?
The Prophet peace be upon him said:
وعن أبي ذر رضي الله عنه عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: " ثلاثة لا يكلمهم الله يوم القيامة ولا ينظر إليهم، ولا يزكيهم ولهم عذاب أليم" قال: فقرأها رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ثلاث مرار. قال أبو ذر: خابوا وخسروا من هم يا رسول الله؟ قال: المسبل، والمنان، والمنفق سلعته بالحلف الكاذب" ((رواه مسلم)).
Translation:
Abi Thar may Allah pleased with him said, the Prophet peace be upon him said: There are three types of people to whom Allah (swt ) will not speak and neither will he bless them and for them is a severe torment” Abu thar said : The Prophet peace be upon him repeated it three times. I said: They are the losers Oh Messenger of Allah, who are they? The Prophet peace be upon him said: The Musbil (the man who lets his garment too long on the floor, The mannan (the one who gives and reminds those he gave) and the one who swears lying to sell his product. (Narrated Muslim)
Man’n is even worse when it is done to a relative or a family member, like a brother or a cousin or an uncle…etc.
You say: I did this and that for them and look at what they did to me or you say I covered for them and they exposed me and other phrases similar to this, disclosing the good you did.
The minute you open your mouth and say what you did, you should know that everything you did is down the drain and you simply got nothing from it. You might even suffer from it on the Day of Judgment as per the above hadith. So be careful my dear sister and brother, this is a big deal. Control your tongue and watch out what you say. One word could cost you a great amount of good deed and might make Allah angry with you.
Do good for the sake of Allah and hide it as much as you can because you only expect the reward from Allah and not from any human being.
The Prophet peace be upon him exaggerated in the hadith when he said your left hand should not know what your right hand has given!! This was to emphasis on the importance of hiding your good deeds and your charity.
May Allah grant us tawfeeq (success) to do good for others and avoid Man’n