Assalam Alikum wa rahmatu Alla wa barakatouh
Today I want to talk about a topic that scares me so much and many if not all of us are falling into this trap.
I will tell you about the two main reasons which cause almost two thirds of the punishment of the grave and if you get rid of those two reasons, then in shaa Allah you have escaped most of the punishment of the grave.
1. Al Gheyba (Talking ill about others behind their back or backbiting)
The problem is not just that we are committing gheyba, but some of us don’t even know what gheyba means? And they do it without realizing.
Example: (someone would criticize their friend or neighbor and when you tell them to stop they would say but I am not lying, they are actually like that). This person does not understand the meaning of gheyba.
Al Geyba is not to lie about someone but it is to speak about and criticize something which is true and real in that person behind their back.
If you make up a lie about someone and speak behind their back that is not gheyba…..that is called Buhtan…. And it is worse than Gheyba…….but here we are not talking about Buhtan…..we are talking about Gheyba.
The Prophet Muhammad PBUH said: “Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best." He then said, "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked him, "But what if what I say is true?" The Messenger of Allah said, "If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him." (Muslim)
Someone would sit and backbite a friend or a player or a politician for 15 or 30 minutes until their tummy is full then they would move to the next person until the end of the day, they go back home to sleep thinking they are fine and their grave will be fine…… I say No…!! not that easy
The Prophet PBUH passed by a grave of a person who was being punished and he said: this man used to eat the flesh of people.
Some people if you tell them please stop and don’t backbite they will answer but I tell them to their face…… well if you tell them to their face, that doesn’t change it and make it halal to say it behind their back.
If you have told them in their face then you have advised them but what is the point of you saying it behind their back?!!!.
I read a hadith which really scared me and made me so conscious and I think twice before I talk about anyone
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, ‘When I was taken up to heaven (i.e. during the Mi`raj) I passed by people who had nails of copper with which they were scratching their faces and their breasts. I said, ‘Who are these [people], O Gabriel?’ He replied: ‘They are those who consumed the flesh of people [i.e. backbite them] and aspersed their honor.’
So what about you…..what if someone spoke about you behind your back?... what will you benefit?
Well I will tell you……….you will benefit from the person who talked about you a lot…. You will take from their hasanaat or good deeds as much as their gheyba ….. so as much as they backbite you, you will be gaining from their hasanaat….. this person has no idea how much they are losing …… and if their good deeds end and they have no more to give……they will be taking from your sins equivalent to the amount of Gheyba they did to you.
Abdul Rahman Al Mahdi said: I don’t want Allah to be disobeyed on his earth, otherwise I would have wanted everyone on earth to backbite me for me to earn all those hasanat….there is nothing better than finding hasanaat on your book of deed on the day of judgment which you did not expect.
It’s amazing how someone would sit all night backbiting and distributing their hasanat and ebadaat to the people….they are so generous in giving their hasanaat away!!
Al Hassan Al Basri was once told that someone was backbiting him…. So he got a gift and went to the house of the man who back bit him….when the man opened the door and saw Al Hassan standing with a smile and a gift of dates …..the guy was surprised as he had no relation with Al Hassan…… Al Hassan told said as he was handing him the gift: I was told today that you gave me some of your hasanaat so I came to thank you.
Abdullah Ibn Mubarak said: If I was to backbite anyone, I would rather back bite my parents because they have the most right to my hasanaat.
Now after all this……you will ask yourself…..what about the people who I did gheyba against them?!….. Shall I go to them and ask them for forgiveness?
The answer is: No…..there is another solution…….. I will mention it after I cover the second reason ……!!!
2. The second reason is Al Namimah and it is different from Al Gheybah…. Al Namimah is (telling someone that so and so said this and that about you or a certain person doesn’t like you or this group is talking about you)
The Prophet once passed by two graves and those two persons (in the graves) were being tortured. He said, "They are being tortured not for a great thing (to avoid). One of them never saved himself from being soiled with his urine, while the other was going about with calumnies (to make enmity between friends).
In Gheybah you are one of three….. you are either the person who is doing the Gheyba and I hope that’s not you…… or you are the person who Gheybah is done to them….. if this is you, I will tell you congratulations for getting many hasanaat which you did not work hard for….and the third person is the one who is listening to the Gheyba….. If you are the listener then you are in front of a mission, if you accomplish it, you will get a prize…!! And the prize is a barrier to protect you from Hell fire on the Day of Judgment….
But what is the mission?
The mission is to defend the person…. how?..... By saying good things about them or by asking those who are talking to stop as the concerned person is not around therefore, we should not be talking about them.
The Prophet (SAAS) said: "Whoever defends his brother's honor in his absence, will be entitled to Allah's protection from the Fire."
In Namimah you are also one of three….. You are either the person who is doing the namimah which I really hope you are not…… or you are the person who Namimah was done to them and here we have two situations…. Either you did not say those words and they are lying against you…. If this is the case you are lucky, you will be getting many hasanaat….Or you could be the person who did the gheybah which they transferred …. And here you are in trouble and you must repent …. Despite the fact that you said what you said, this does not give them the right to Namimah and they also have to repent……. The third person in Namimah is the one that is Namimah brought to him or the one that is being told that so and so is talking about you.
.
If you are this third person…. then you have been attacked and you need to make sure you protect three things:
a. Protect your heart from changing against the person who you were told they spoke about you…. Don’t believe this Nammam because their testimony is rejected and invalid even in law because Namimah is considered Kabirah minal Kaba’aer or a huge sin and it defeats the persons honesty.
b. Protect your ears and don’t listen to the Nammam…. Stop them as soon as they start…… if they did not find someone to listen to them, they wouldn’t have spoken in the first place.
c. Protect your tongue from transferring what was said to you to others by saying so and so spoke ill about me … so you don’t become part of the Namimah.
Don’t trust a Nammam. The scholars say…whoever transferred words to you, will also transfer words from you or against you…. And the one who told you that your brother spoke ill about you is actually the one who spoke ill about you….how?!!
The person who spoke ill about you threw an arrow towards you but it fell on the floor because you did not hear what he said…… then this Nammam came and took the arrow and stuck it into your heart. …
Now after all this….. you will be wondering, how can I repent from Gheyba and Namimah? Shall I go to the people and tell them what I said about them?
No don’t do that because that will only create animosity and hatred and that is actually the reason why Gheyba and Namimah is haram ….. You will say what about my hasanaat…. How can I get them back???.... Shall I let them go?!!
I will tell you don’t worry….. There is a solution which was mentioned by the scholars…. The solution is to pray secretly for the people you did gheyba or namimah to as much as the gheyba and namimah you did, until they get as many hasanaat as the ones they were going to get from you on the day of judgment and you end up keeping your own hasanaat…..And there will be an angle who will be saying Ameen , may you have likewise as the Prophet PBUH said: 'The Dua of a person for his Muslim brother in his absence will be answered. At his head there is an angel, and every time he prays for him for something good, the angel who has been appointed to be with him, says, 'Ameen, may you have likewise.' (*62)
Can you see how serious this matter is….. Please my dear sisters and brothers let’s not take gheyba and namimah lightly…. Let’s strive to stop this bad habit.
Lastly try to speak good about the person you did gheyba or Namimah to in front of the same people you spoke to before so you can correct some of the damage you made.
I pray to Allah to guide us and protect our tongues from Gheyba and Namimah and make our graves a piece of heaven Ameen.
Today I want to talk about a topic that scares me so much and many if not all of us are falling into this trap.
I will tell you about the two main reasons which cause almost two thirds of the punishment of the grave and if you get rid of those two reasons, then in shaa Allah you have escaped most of the punishment of the grave.
1. Al Gheyba (Talking ill about others behind their back or backbiting)
The problem is not just that we are committing gheyba, but some of us don’t even know what gheyba means? And they do it without realizing.
Example: (someone would criticize their friend or neighbor and when you tell them to stop they would say but I am not lying, they are actually like that). This person does not understand the meaning of gheyba.
Al Geyba is not to lie about someone but it is to speak about and criticize something which is true and real in that person behind their back.
If you make up a lie about someone and speak behind their back that is not gheyba…..that is called Buhtan…. And it is worse than Gheyba…….but here we are not talking about Buhtan…..we are talking about Gheyba.
The Prophet Muhammad PBUH said: “Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best." He then said, "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked him, "But what if what I say is true?" The Messenger of Allah said, "If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him." (Muslim)
Someone would sit and backbite a friend or a player or a politician for 15 or 30 minutes until their tummy is full then they would move to the next person until the end of the day, they go back home to sleep thinking they are fine and their grave will be fine…… I say No…!! not that easy
The Prophet PBUH passed by a grave of a person who was being punished and he said: this man used to eat the flesh of people.
Some people if you tell them please stop and don’t backbite they will answer but I tell them to their face…… well if you tell them to their face, that doesn’t change it and make it halal to say it behind their back.
If you have told them in their face then you have advised them but what is the point of you saying it behind their back?!!!.
I read a hadith which really scared me and made me so conscious and I think twice before I talk about anyone
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, ‘When I was taken up to heaven (i.e. during the Mi`raj) I passed by people who had nails of copper with which they were scratching their faces and their breasts. I said, ‘Who are these [people], O Gabriel?’ He replied: ‘They are those who consumed the flesh of people [i.e. backbite them] and aspersed their honor.’
So what about you…..what if someone spoke about you behind your back?... what will you benefit?
Well I will tell you……….you will benefit from the person who talked about you a lot…. You will take from their hasanaat or good deeds as much as their gheyba ….. so as much as they backbite you, you will be gaining from their hasanaat….. this person has no idea how much they are losing …… and if their good deeds end and they have no more to give……they will be taking from your sins equivalent to the amount of Gheyba they did to you.
Abdul Rahman Al Mahdi said: I don’t want Allah to be disobeyed on his earth, otherwise I would have wanted everyone on earth to backbite me for me to earn all those hasanat….there is nothing better than finding hasanaat on your book of deed on the day of judgment which you did not expect.
It’s amazing how someone would sit all night backbiting and distributing their hasanat and ebadaat to the people….they are so generous in giving their hasanaat away!!
Al Hassan Al Basri was once told that someone was backbiting him…. So he got a gift and went to the house of the man who back bit him….when the man opened the door and saw Al Hassan standing with a smile and a gift of dates …..the guy was surprised as he had no relation with Al Hassan…… Al Hassan told said as he was handing him the gift: I was told today that you gave me some of your hasanaat so I came to thank you.
Abdullah Ibn Mubarak said: If I was to backbite anyone, I would rather back bite my parents because they have the most right to my hasanaat.
Now after all this……you will ask yourself…..what about the people who I did gheyba against them?!….. Shall I go to them and ask them for forgiveness?
The answer is: No…..there is another solution…….. I will mention it after I cover the second reason ……!!!
2. The second reason is Al Namimah and it is different from Al Gheybah…. Al Namimah is (telling someone that so and so said this and that about you or a certain person doesn’t like you or this group is talking about you)
The Prophet once passed by two graves and those two persons (in the graves) were being tortured. He said, "They are being tortured not for a great thing (to avoid). One of them never saved himself from being soiled with his urine, while the other was going about with calumnies (to make enmity between friends).
In Gheybah you are one of three….. you are either the person who is doing the Gheyba and I hope that’s not you…… or you are the person who Gheybah is done to them….. if this is you, I will tell you congratulations for getting many hasanaat which you did not work hard for….and the third person is the one who is listening to the Gheyba….. If you are the listener then you are in front of a mission, if you accomplish it, you will get a prize…!! And the prize is a barrier to protect you from Hell fire on the Day of Judgment….
But what is the mission?
The mission is to defend the person…. how?..... By saying good things about them or by asking those who are talking to stop as the concerned person is not around therefore, we should not be talking about them.
The Prophet (SAAS) said: "Whoever defends his brother's honor in his absence, will be entitled to Allah's protection from the Fire."
In Namimah you are also one of three….. You are either the person who is doing the namimah which I really hope you are not…… or you are the person who Namimah was done to them and here we have two situations…. Either you did not say those words and they are lying against you…. If this is the case you are lucky, you will be getting many hasanaat….Or you could be the person who did the gheybah which they transferred …. And here you are in trouble and you must repent …. Despite the fact that you said what you said, this does not give them the right to Namimah and they also have to repent……. The third person in Namimah is the one that is Namimah brought to him or the one that is being told that so and so is talking about you.
.
If you are this third person…. then you have been attacked and you need to make sure you protect three things:
a. Protect your heart from changing against the person who you were told they spoke about you…. Don’t believe this Nammam because their testimony is rejected and invalid even in law because Namimah is considered Kabirah minal Kaba’aer or a huge sin and it defeats the persons honesty.
b. Protect your ears and don’t listen to the Nammam…. Stop them as soon as they start…… if they did not find someone to listen to them, they wouldn’t have spoken in the first place.
c. Protect your tongue from transferring what was said to you to others by saying so and so spoke ill about me … so you don’t become part of the Namimah.
Don’t trust a Nammam. The scholars say…whoever transferred words to you, will also transfer words from you or against you…. And the one who told you that your brother spoke ill about you is actually the one who spoke ill about you….how?!!
The person who spoke ill about you threw an arrow towards you but it fell on the floor because you did not hear what he said…… then this Nammam came and took the arrow and stuck it into your heart. …
Now after all this….. you will be wondering, how can I repent from Gheyba and Namimah? Shall I go to the people and tell them what I said about them?
No don’t do that because that will only create animosity and hatred and that is actually the reason why Gheyba and Namimah is haram ….. You will say what about my hasanaat…. How can I get them back???.... Shall I let them go?!!
I will tell you don’t worry….. There is a solution which was mentioned by the scholars…. The solution is to pray secretly for the people you did gheyba or namimah to as much as the gheyba and namimah you did, until they get as many hasanaat as the ones they were going to get from you on the day of judgment and you end up keeping your own hasanaat…..And there will be an angle who will be saying Ameen , may you have likewise as the Prophet PBUH said: 'The Dua of a person for his Muslim brother in his absence will be answered. At his head there is an angel, and every time he prays for him for something good, the angel who has been appointed to be with him, says, 'Ameen, may you have likewise.' (*62)
Can you see how serious this matter is….. Please my dear sisters and brothers let’s not take gheyba and namimah lightly…. Let’s strive to stop this bad habit.
Lastly try to speak good about the person you did gheyba or Namimah to in front of the same people you spoke to before so you can correct some of the damage you made.
I pray to Allah to guide us and protect our tongues from Gheyba and Namimah and make our graves a piece of heaven Ameen.
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